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First Word:

My dad tells this story best - he was a stock car driver at the time - kind of a low budget talagaga nights kind of thing.  "He was about 3 years old.  We were still in the apartment up on route 39.  One day Ricky is racing around in his walker on the wood floor in the living room just tearing it up.  He came around a corner a little too outside and hit the end table next to the coach and knocked my Playboy magazine to the floor.  It opened to the center fold page.  I'm not sure if he stopped because he hit the table or because he saw the center fold but all he said was "WOW", and that was his first word."

Which everyone knows WOW is MOM upside down.

First Kiss:

Mom says that I was playing in the dining room all evening being a good boy at age 3 and a half.    I remember this one.  Who wouldn't.  My parents were in the living room talking about sex.  I didn't really understand the stuff about the different positions - couldn't really imagine what that could mean though I tried.  b But they started talking about French Kissing and well I knew about kisses - right?   Grandma kissed me hello and good bye, Mom kissed me good night.  Something about using the tongues in the other persons mouth - ok I got it.  Later that evening my mom came in to pick me up and put me to bed.  She picked me up and gave me a big kiss right on the lips and I stuck out my tongue with all my might and went right in there.    A muffled scream is all I heard as I plummeted to the cold hard wooden floor below.  She dropped me right on my ass.  I hated that French kissing stuff.

First Scrape with the Law: (this spot is intentionally left blank)

First Date:

7th Grade.  Boy did I mess this up. They had a thing in my school called the Sadie Hawkins Dance - the idea was that the girls had to ask the guys out.  Great - only no one asked me out.   The weeks went by and then right down to a couple of days before the dance and no one asked me out.  I was depressed and totally in love with Beth who didn't seem to know I existed.  I would try to say hello but she pretty much ignored me.  Not cool enough for her I guessed.    My heart ached for her though and there was nothing I could do to get her attention.  

A few days before the dance Rita came up to me in the hall between classes.  She was really shy and never really spoke to me, but she stepped right up and asked me out to the dance.  I was in shock.  I didn't know what to say.  I wanted to go to the dance with Beth not Rita.  But as the words yes passed my lips, I thought to myself, well at least I got asked.  I didn't want to be the last man standing after teams were chosen.  

Completely bewildered by the experience I moved on down the hall with only my books for company.   Karen came right up to me and looked me in the eyes.  She was as tall as I was - about 5'8" at the time.  Really pretty too.  Should have said no but she was so pretty.  Sorry to all...

 

 

 

 

 

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